5 Love Languages Study Continued

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Good morning friends. Its Marriage Monday! Hope your weekend went well. Join me every Monday for ways to build a strong marriage through God.

Falling in Love:

Love is Kind!

As love peaks, the in-love experience is euphoric. We are emotionally obsessed with each other. We go to sleep thinking of one another. When we rise, that person is the first thought on our minds. We long to be together. Spending time together is like playing in the anteroom of heaven. When we hold hands, it seems as if our blood flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn’t have to go to work. Embracing sparks dreams of marriage and ecstasy.

The person who is “in-love” has the illusion that his/her beloved is perfect. Our dreams of marriage are of marital bliss: “We are going to make each other supremely happy. Other couples may argue and fight, but not us. We love each other.” Of course, we are not totally naïve. We know intellectually that we will eventually have differences. But we are certain that we will discuss those differences openly; one of us will always be willing to make concessions, and we will reach agreement. Then reality intrudes!

Dr. Dorothy Tennov conducted long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. Yes, two (2) years. Those little traits that we overlook when we were in love now become huge mountains that are now merely annoying.

The real world of marriage shows up as Reality Intruder, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spot cover the mirror, where arguments center on which way the toilet paper comes off and whether the lid should be up or down. It is a world where shoes do not walk to the closet and the drawers do not close themselves, where coats do not like hangers and socks go AWOL during laundry. The euphoria of the in-love state gives us the illusion that we have an intimate relationship. We feel that we belong to each other. We believe we can conquer all problems until~ reality intrudes!

Some couples believe that the end of the in-love experience means they have only two options: resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse, or jump ship and try again. Research seems to indicate that there is a third and better alternative: We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was-a temporary emotional high-and now pursue “real love” with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. IT is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need of personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. True love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course- 2 years max.

YOUR TURN: Look back on that point in your marriage when “reality” set in and the initial romantic feelings faded. How did this affect your relationship, for better or worse?

Serving with Joy,
Serving God with Joy,
Sonya

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About Sonya

I am a sinner saved by grace trying to move through this broken world as a wife, mom and homeschooler. I have 3 gorgeous sons {24, 17 & 11} and a wonderful husband of 13 years, that have my heart! I don't have all the answers however sharing my life with you in hopes that it will drawer you closer to Him. I pray that when you leave here you walk away knowing Him better.

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