5 Love Languages Study – Love Makes a Difference

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Good morning friends. Its Marriage Monday! Hope your weekend was blessed. What did you do this weekend to make your marriage a priority? With only 3 chapters left and then the rap up, you dont want to miss a session. Link up to us every Monday for Marriage Monday to get tips, on a Godly marriage.

Our weekend was very nice had a whole day to ourselves with NO kids, almost didnt know how to act. It was a great bonding time.

Love Makes a Difference

Love is not our only emotion need. Psychologists have observed that among our basic needs are the need for security, self-worth and significance. Love, however interfaces with all of those.

If I feel loved by my spouse, I can relax, knowing that my lover will do me no ill. I feel secure in his/her presence. I may face many uncertainties in my vocation. I may have enemies in other ares of my life, but with my spouse I feel secure.

My sense of self-worth is fed by the face that my spouse loves me. After all, if he/she loves me, I must be worth loving. My parents may be given me negative or mixed messages about my worth, but my spouse knows me as an adult and loves me. Her love builds my self-esteem.

The need for signification is the emotional force behind much of our behavior. Life is driven by the desire for success. We want our lives to count for something. We have our own idea of what it means to be significant, and work hard to reach our goals. Feeling loved by a spouse enhances our sense of significance. We reason, If someone loves me, I must have significance.

I am significant because I stand at the apex of the created order. I have the ability to think abstract terms, communicate my thoughts via words, and make decisions. By means of printed or recorded words, I can benefit from the thoughts of those who have preceded me. I can profit from others’ experience, though they lived in a difference age and culture. I experience the death of family and friends and sense that there is existence beyond the material. I discover that, in all cultures, people believe in a spirtual world. My heart tells me it is true even when my mind, trained in scientific observation, raises critical questions.

I am significant. Life has meaning. There is a higher purpose. I want to believe it, but I may not feel significant until someone expresses love to me. When my spouse lovingly invest time, energy and effort in me, I believe that I am significant. Without love, I may spend a lifetime in search of significance, self-worth and security. When I experience love, it impacts all of those needs positively. I am now freed to develop my potential. I am more secure in my self-worth and can now turn my efforts outward instead of being obsessed with my own needs. True love always liberates.

In the context of marriage, if we do not feel loved, our differences are magnified. We come to view each other as a threat to our happiness. We fight for self-worth and significance, and marraige becomes a battelfield rather than a haven.

Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us. In the security of love, a couple can discuss differences without condemnation. Conflicts can be resolved. Two people who are different can learn to live together in harmony. We discover how to bring our the best in each other. Those are the rewards of love.

The decision to love your spouse hold tremendous potential. Learning his/her primary love language makes that potential a reality. Love really does “make the world go round”.

Can an emotional love be reborn in a marriage? You bet. The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.

I am participating in Marriage Monday with Come Have a Peace

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About Sonya

I am a sinner saved by grace trying to move through this broken world as a wife, mom and homeschooler. I have 3 gorgeous sons {24, 17 & 11} and a wonderful husband of 13 years, that have my heart! I don't have all the answers however sharing my life with you in hopes that it will drawer you closer to Him. I pray that when you leave here you walk away knowing Him better.

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