5 Love Languages Study – Children and Love Languages

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Good evening friends. Its Marriage Monday! Hope your weekend was blessed. What did you do this weekend to make your marriage a priority? With only 2 chapters left and then the rap up, you dont want to miss a session. Come back every Monday for Marriage Monday to get tips, on a Godly marriage.

Children and Love Languages

Does the concept of love languages apply to children? Oh yes it does and when we learn it early oh how we can change the world for our children.

Take a look at the 5 love languages in the context of loving children and see what your child is:


Parents typically give many affirmation words when the child is young. Even before the child understands verbal communication, parents are saying, :What a pretty nose, what a beautiful eyes, what curly hair,” and so on. When the child begins to crawl, we applaud every movement and give “Word of Affirmation” When he begins to walk and stand with one hand against the couch, we stand two feet away and say, “Come on, come on, come on. That rights! Walk. That right, walk.” The child takes half a step and falls what do we do? We dont say, “You dumb kid, cant you walk?” Rather we say, Yea, hood job!” So he gets up and tries again.

Why is it that as the child gets older, our Word of Affirmation” turn to word of condemnation? When the child is seven we walk into the room and tell him to put the toys in the toy box. Twelve toys are the floor. We come back in five minutes ad seven toys are in the box, and what do we say? “I told you to get these toys up. I fy ou dont get these toys up, I am going to…..” What about the seven toys in the box? Why dont we say, “Yea Johnny, you put seven toys in the box. That is great. The other five would probly jump into the box! As the child gets older, we tend to condemn him for his failures rather than commend him for his success.

To a child who primary love language is “Word of Affirmation” our negitive, critical, demeaning word strike terror to her psyche. Hundreds of thirty-five-year old adults still hear word of condemnation spoken twenty years ago rining in their ears: “You’re too fat; nobody will ever date you” “You’re not a student. You may as well drop out of school” “I cant believe you are so dumb” “You are irresponsible and will never amount to anything”  Adults struggle with self-esteem ad feel unloved all their lives when their primary love langugage is violated in such a detrimental manner.

Quality time means giving a child undivided attention. For the small child, it means sitting on the floor and rolling a ball back and forth with him. We are talking about playing with cards and dolls. We are talking about playing in the sandbox and building castles, getting into his world, doing things with him. You may be into computers as an adult, but your child lives in a child’s world. You must get down on the child’s level if  you eventually want to lead him to the adult world.

As the child gets older and develops new interests, you must enter into those interests if you want to meet his needs. If he is into basketball, get interested in basketball games. If he is into piano, perhaps you could take a piano lesson or at least listen with undivided attention for part of his practice period. Giving a child your undivided attention says that you care, that he important to you, that you enjoy being with him.

Many adults, looking back on childhood, do not remember much of what their parents said, but they do remember what their parents did. One adult said, “I remember that my father never missed my high school games. I knew he was interested in what I was doing” For that adult, “Quality Time” was an extremely important communicator of love. If “Qualify Time” is the primary love langugae of your child and you speak that language, chances are he will allow you to spend quality time with him even through the adolescent years. If you do not give him quality time in the younger years, he will likely seek the attention of peers during the adolescent years and turn away from parents who may at that time desperately desire more time with their children.

Many parents and grandparents speak the language of gifts excessively. In fact, when one visits toy stores, one wonders if parents believe that is the only language of love. If parents have the money, they tend to buy many gifts for their children. Some parents believe that that is best way to show love. Some parents try to do for their children what their parents were unable to do for them. They buy things that they wish they had had as a child., gifts may mean little emotionally to the child. The parent has a good intentions, but he/she is to meeting the emotional needs of the child givig gifts.

If the gifts you give are quickly laid aside, if the child seldom says “thank you” if the child does not take care of the gifts that you  have given, if she does not prize those gifts, chances are “Recievig

Serving with Joy,

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About Sonya

I am a sinner saved by grace trying to move through this broken world as a wife, mom and homeschooler. I have 3 gorgeous sons {24, 17 & 11} and a wonderful husband of 13 years, that have my heart! I don't have all the answers however sharing my life with you in hopes that it will drawer you closer to Him. I pray that when you leave here you walk away knowing Him better.

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