Are You a Encourager or a Nagger {Part 2}

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I pour my heart out about my TONGUE last week, in asking are you a Encourager or a Nagger? Over the years of marriage to my husband my tongue has gotten in the way. It has truly been a battle to get to this point in my marriage where I can summit to God and carry out what He has ask me to in my marriage.
Last Monday we conquered Part 1 of Are you a Encourager or a Nagger, the question “How do I greet my husband when he comes home from work?
Did you take a moment to answer that for your own marriage? How did the answer glorify God? What changes did you make this past week to insure that greeting your husband at the door was something he was looking forward to?
Today we are going to take on this question “How do I respond to him when he does something that I did not like or agree with?
This question really hit me right in the gut because I have always been one to SPEAK MY MIND about whatever was bothering me. So I guess you can see from my response that I did not respond in LOVE to my husband at all when it came to him doing something I did not like or agree with.


Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger”

Most of the time my flesh would flare up and I would answer in a not so loving way. All it did was cause friction and uneasiness. Sometime brew into not talking at all, not resolving the situation at hand at all.
Pointing to God:
To prepare myself in comforting my husband with my words takes some time and preparation. I also took a look back at something’s that bothered me, wrote them down and everytime they would come up I would truly prepare my heart and words for the talk.
Preparation comes in prayer before opening our mouths. This helps us to get in the spirit so that the Holy Spirit can shine through. First thing I do is let my husband know that I would like to talk to him later if something is bothering me that he did. I do NOT COMFORT him right in the moment of frustration.
This prepares my husband as well that when gets home sometime before the night ends we are going to talk. I have already been praying and asking God to give the right words to be able to have this conversation.


Ephesians 4:29 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear”


To disagree with my husband I truly have to prepare my heart so that I do not persuade my husband into a decision because I want it that way. This comes with practicing in controlling my tongue and speaking when the Holy Spirit prompts me.  I will be honest there are times that Sonya flares up and does not wait on the Holy Spirit. I get into trouble however I don’t stay there long.
Preparation and prayer truly does keep the wrath away in speaking to our spouses.


Ephesians 4:26 “BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger”


How do you speak to your husband when something he does something you don’t agree with or that you did like?
Would love to hear your struggles and thoughts with your words.
Join me next Monday as we tackle this question “How do I speak to him on the phone when his word fell through?

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About Sonya

I am a sinner saved by grace trying to move through this broken world as a wife, mom and homeschooler. I have 3 gorgeous sons {24, 17 & 11} and a wonderful husband of 13 years, that have my heart! I don't have all the answers however sharing my life with you in hopes that it will drawer you closer to Him. I pray that when you leave here you walk away knowing Him better.

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