Are You a Encourager or a Nagger with Your Words? {Part 1}

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Am I the only one who deals with their TONGUE?

Surely not!

After 11 years of marriage learning to hold my tongue has taken alot of practice, Gods grace and patient. It does not come easy for me, because I am a strong willed person and getting my way has always been the way.

Until….. Jesus Christ found me!

The Lord has truly taught me how to truly TRUST in Him in my weaknesses.

So this brings me to the question “Are you a ENCOURAGER or a NAGGER? This question was posed to me and shamefully, I was the nagger. All I could think about was is how do I become an encourager when this is not an easy road for me and most of the time my husband does not deserve it?

So I prayed and God did a work in me that would forever change my marriage.

Here are a few questions that I pondered on to give me a starting point on where to start in becoming an encourager!

  1. How do I greet my husband when he comes home from work?
  2. How do I respond to  him when he does something that I did not like or agree with?
  3. How do I speak to him on the phone when his word fell through?
  4. Do I let him know when I am frustrated and give him a warning that I am not in a great frame of mind to talk?
  5. Do I hold a gruge against him?
  6. Do I speak his love language?
  7. Do I build him up or tear him down with my words?

When I stepped back and took a long hard look at these questions, all I could see is that I respond in a way that is going to get the best result for ME, not my husband.

Man that was hard to look at, however when glorifing God sometimes taking a long hard look at yourself is just what is needed!

The next step was to take each question answer it honestly and turn it to God. {In our marriages we are glorifing God, not our husbands. When we truly understand this we can let the small stuff go and truly let God shine through.}

“How do I greet my husband when he gets home from work?”
I will have to say that this was hard for me especially if he had already frustrated me through out the day. My greeting would consist of cold shoulder, not saying a word as if he did not exsist, and when I did speak it was with frustration and meaness. I mean he already knew on his way home how I was going to react to what had happen through out the day.

Pointing to God:
I started praying for the Lord to change my heart and help me to love my husband the way He does. Help me to see pass my husband sins and let Him shine through.  Man did He deliver.

The first thing I do to get prepared for my husband arrival is pray and get my heart right to greet him with love and grace.  This was the most important step to pull this off the way God would want me to.

I greet my husband with a hug and a kiss that lets him know he was missed through out the day. I then proceed to ask him about his day with loving words. I am smiling and try really hard to be in something other then my pjs when he comes home from the day. {sometimes this does not happen lol} This truly has set a different mode in our home. Instead of my husband preparing himself for the nagger when he arrices he is preparing for the love and grace that he knows he will receive.

Something else that we do is we greet each other before the children. We kiss and talk before the children. This is important for the children to know that this is how mom/dad keep Christ first.

Sometimes my 9 year old will race me to the door to greet daddy however I always win in the first kiss 🙂

How do you greet your husband when he arrives home from work? As an encourager or a nagger?

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and struggles with greeting your husband!

Join me Next Monday as we tackle the question “How do I respond to him when he does something that I did not like or agree with?”

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About Sonya

I am a sinner saved by grace trying to move through this broken world as a wife, mom and homeschooler. I have 3 gorgeous sons {24, 17 & 11} and a wonderful husband of 13 years, that have my heart! I don't have all the answers however sharing my life with you in hopes that it will drawer you closer to Him. I pray that when you leave here you walk away knowing Him better.

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