Overcoming the Fear of Singleness

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What fears do you have about singleness? 

Are you afraid you will have to wait a long time to be married or maybe that you will never marry at all?  Are you afraid you will always be lonely?  Do you fear there aren’t any good men left?  Do you have fears about choosing the right one?

What do you fear?

I want to share with you today some secrets I’ve learned for fighting fear and regaining joy.  Do I still struggle with fear?  Yes!  Absolutely.  But from one fearful woman to another let me show you what God is teaching me.

Speak truth to yourself.

Probably 90% of our fears are about the “what if’s” the things that maybe, possibly, might happen.  When we stand back and honestly look at our fears they usually consist of a small bit of possible truth paired with a large dose of highly improbable.  When this is the case we need to speak truth to ourselves.  We need to separate in our minds what is 100% true and what is faulty or unlikely.

I know from experience that sometimes we just can’t do this for ourselves.  Sometimes we are so paralyzed by fear that we can’t even see the fact from the fiction to preach truth to ourselves.  When you are in a pattern of fear and you can’t seem to get out on your own don’t just sit and let it steep.  The fear will only grow stronger.  Talk to a spiritually mature friend or mentor.  Share your fears and let them share with you practical truth and the truth found in God’s Word (which by the way is also super practical).

Chances are the fear you are facing isn’t unique to you and talking to someone who has been there and can look back and see how God provided for them will be a big help.

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Remember the God you serve.

We don’t serve a god who enjoys seeing pain in his people, we don’t serve a god who is uninterested in the details of our lives, we don’t serve a god who is fallible or incapable to handle our problems {real or perceived}.

Our God is completely involved in every detail of our lives.  We serve a God who loves us enough to kill His Son on our behalf, for His glory and our good!  We serve a God who is all wise and knows exactly what is good for us.  We serve a God who has the power to make those things which are good come to pass.

When you are fearful remember who God is.  Study His attributes and see how they all work together.  Remember His love, wisdom and sovereignty!

Our God wants what is good for you, knows what is good for you and will give you only what is good for you.  When you bask in that reality fear begins to melt.

Remember your old master.

Remember the attributes of Satan.  Satan is the father of lies.  Satan is the king of fear and he would like nothing more than to bind up again those who have been freed from fear by the gospel.

When you fear, ladies, don’t look to your old slave master who is Satan. Run to the Gospel and claim the joy and promises of God, your good Master and Savior!

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  -Romans 8:28 {NASB}

Do you ever struggle with fears as a single woman?  What are some of the ways you have learned to fight this fear? 


ashleyAbout Ashley Schnarr

Ashley is a stay-at-home daughter preparing for her future dream of being a wife and mother. She blogs at www.stayathomedaughter.com where she shares her passion for Christ, Biblical femininity and preparation for the future. Ashley comes from a family of seven. She enjoys ministering in song, being a wedding cake decorator, long time babysitter, and new author of “Keeping House…While Keeping Sane”. You can follow Ashley through her blog, facebook, or twitter.


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About Sonya

I am a sinner saved by grace trying to move through this broken world as a wife, mom and homeschooler. I have 3 gorgeous sons {24, 17 & 11} and a wonderful husband of 13 years, that have my heart! I don’t have all the answers however sharing my life with you in hopes that it will drawer you closer to Him. I pray that when you leave here you walk away knowing Him better.

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